Canberra (II)

Well here I am again.

After sleeping for 15 hours straight I am rather energised, amongst other things…

Haha.

I took lots of awesome photos in Canberra, and had lots of wicked awesome fun.

We were making certain phone calls… I cannot go into further details since they would be incirminating, but basically I laughed so much I thought I was going to throw up.

Although that could’ve just been the food, which was totally 100% shit, but that’s obviously to be expected.

 I loved Canberra too, like the place. So nice and quiet, I’d actually like to go to uni there now that I think about it.

It has been a while I suppose…

Alas, tis I, Bexxie.

Since Westy has posted the last two entries I fear that you have forgotten me dear blog.

But since of course you are nothing but html I guess I’m not that afraid after all.

Just a little pissed off since flickr is being slow.

Nothing life changing though.

Although I did write a bit of an idea for a novel. Want to read it?I thought so:

I always like to have a plan. I like things to always go to plan. So when I had to interrupt working on my assignment to go to the shops, to buy sanitary pads of all things, I was not pleased. Necessity is necessity though so I brushed my hair and left the heated comfort of my house and went to the corner store. I grabbed the pads as well as some chocolate and raced to the checkouts. I handed them to the boy behind the checkout, not really clocking that he was about my age and I suppose what would be the regular definition of cute. I didn’t notice, simply because I did not care. My main objective was to get the pads and get out.  

It seemed that destiny had other plans since when the guy tried to scan the pads instead of that regular little beeping noise the checkouts make, there was a sort of warped sound that indicated to me that something was not right. I squinted at the checkout guy’s name badge and held in a snort. His name was Doug. How delightful. “Listen is there some kind of problem?” I asked“Well it seems that this barcode is not scanning.” Doug replied with a grin. I was really starting to dislike him although I wasn’t sure why. There was an awkward pause until finally I spoke again.
“Are you going to do something about it?” Doug just grinned again. I was beginning to get the impression that he didn’t do much else. Holding back my urge to strange this imbecile I took a deep breath.
“Do you want me to get another one?” I asked, sounding more frustrated than I’d intended.

Yesh

That was unbelievably badly written

Proud?

I know I am. 

BECKY’S GOING TO COLLEGE IN CALI!!! 

(only Westy will understand that reference, but then she’s the only one who reads this anyways…)  

I made a pretty random looking edit, well two actually

……………………………………

The idea is for me to eventually post it. But since my computer is being a slow piece of turd I shall have to wait.

(Ten Minutes later)

  

Sure I may have been exaggerating about the ten minutes… But I’m sure that this disturbiness makes it all worth it.

*cough*

From 43things.com …

Well I was incredibly close to giving up this goal

And today, made me actually get closer

I’ll give it until the end of the week.

I think I am worth more than this.

See more progress on: Make ***** Fall in love with me, or at least like me enough to come to my formal…

Is there any particular reason why you are so retarded?

I’m in a thinking kind of mood

What am I thinking about?

Good question.

 Basically — Elastic Bands

Elastic bands?!?! I hear you say.

Well actually it makes a lot of sense.

Or maybe my logic is just a bit whacked…

I like to think of myself as an elastic band.

I am flexible

I can stretch quite far but if you let me go too quickly I will flick you

If you stretch me waaay too far then I will snap.

This afternoon, I snapped

How and why is another story, but the trouble with elastic bands is that once they’ve snapped it’s hard to put them back together

To do so involves lots of heat and tender loving care

Heat being the passion I feel when I really care about something

Tender loving care being the basic human reaction when someone is kind and loving as opposed to a snarky bi-polar tub of dog shit.

This time I’m not sure if I’m going to be all that forgiving…

Dreams

I think that I’ve mentioned these a few times before, the dreams that I often have that leave me completely shattered, scared and confused the next morning.

Yeh well I had another one last night. You don’t need to know what it was about, I guess it was based an awful lot on reality, but then they usually are. Not always, but usually.

Actually reality isn’t all that great right now either. I keep on smiling but. I really doubt anyone can tell how upset I am. Actually that’s the point. I am kinda scared to let anyone know how upset I really am. It’s just cuz everyone wants to be your friend when you smile and joke all the time, but the moment that you show some kind of emotion, or the moment that something goes wrong for you, you look around and suddenly all of your “friends” are gone off somewhere.

And that’s fine. I’m in no position to demand anyone to listen to my problems. I don’t expect anyone to want to.  And that’s fine, I’m not writing this for sympathy or for anyone to ask me what’s wrong. I don’t really feel like blabbing all my problems whilst some poor person has to sit beside me and listen awkwardly, some poor person wishing they were somewhere far, far away from me. I don’t want to tell cyber-space all my problems.

 But I’ll tell you one thing – those dreams are friken horrible!

Oh sorry, I didn’t think of that, I was too busy crying big tears of self pity whilst in the foetal postition on my bedroom floor…

Well here I am again.
Angry at the world and rather red-faced (usually a sign or either extreme happiness, anger or sadness -  take your pick)
Why?
Well there’s a logical reason for it.
That being – Barry died.
…
It’s okay now, I fixed it.
But for a full twenty minutes or so I actually though he was dead
Then  it finally occured to me…
The key to fixing most of Barry’s problem is resetting him.
For those of you hanging here and thinking who the hell is Barry and how did you reset him.
It’s very simple.
Barry is my ipod.
Stupid?
Well perhaps a little… only if you knew just how attached I am to Barry then you wouldn’t think so.
Believe me.
So now I’m fairly happy again, only not really.
But hey, I do try
You’ve gotta give me credit for all the trying…

And then I fell over and died…

Well Well Well. You know, I’ve noticed that I say well when I can’t think of anything else to say. I can’t think of anything to say because I’m completely zonked. Yes, I did just use the word zonked, but that’s the best word for it really so… yes. Well. Basically the dreams are back. It’s not nice having them back after so long. It’s really not very nice at all. In fact it is very unpleasent. But regardless I suppose there’s no point dwelling on the unpleasentness. Instead I shall just grin and bear it. Everything is okay. Plus I’ve the got the introduction for my novel…

When Rachel met Adam at a party she instantly knew that she did not like him. She instantly decided that he was not a nice person and made this judgement based on the fact that she did not like his shirt. That may have seemed like a superficial judgement, but once Adam had successfully managed to spill his drink all over Rachel she was sure that it was the correct one. Rachel hadn’t really wanted to go this party in the first place. However being the new student at the prestigious St Gerard’s High in the city meant that she really had no choice. On beginning her time at St Gerard’s Rachel had immediately been welcomed into the popular group. This group fitted the exact cliché of any popular group in any school in the western world. These girls were the embodiment of the three Bs; bitchy, beautiful and boastful. Rachel was immediately accepted despite that fact that she wasn’t the proud owner of all three of these qualities. She was accepted simply because of her older brother Trent. Trent was gorgeous to say the least. With his creamy skin, pale blue eyes and dark shock of hair he was every girl’s dream come true. So Rachel went to the part and at the request of the “queen bee” Stephanie she brought Trent along. Consequently she met Adam which is of course where this whole story began…

It’s still a bit dodgy and needs serious editing, but the general concpet is there. So I shall walk aroudn with a grin on my face today and pretend that I didn’t dream about it again and pretend that everything is okay. After all it is… kinda.

And I’m sinking…

Anyone who’s been around me for more than three days at a time would know that I am moody, to say the least. Well here we go no do-si-do now (in the immortal words of Eminem) basically I am once again sinking in my own pit of misery.

 Why?

That’s a great question. One that I am not going to elaborate on. Usually I just keep things to myself. I used to have someone who I could talk to about things like this. But that was a long time ago. So now? Well I guess I’ll just keep it to myself. And I’ll just sit here. With my iPod and my commerce textbook. Screw everyone else.

 OoooOh I know, I can log into msn and bite the head off anyone who tries to talk to me. Yeh, that’ll make me feel heaps better eh?

 DOUBT IT.

Ooh yeah! I’m rrrreal special!

Well since I’m a schoolgirl and such I guess I should tell you that since I am really smart dumb I’ve somehow managed to loose the sheet that goes with my history assessment task. Big deal right? Yeh well the corker is that I’ve somehow managed to lose the sheet within my study… Then again if you could see my study right now you wouldn’t be surprised… I keep trying to console myself with my public speaking success earlier this week, but somehow I can’t shake this feeling that I am utterly stuffed.

Not just because of the history assignment… basically because of everything… Like my science booklet, and my geogaphy fieldwork and well… other reasons… lets just say that they are “personal”. I get that blogs are basically for sharing personal thoughts and opinions with randoms, but I just don’t feel like bloody talking about it. You know what they say when it rains, it pours… well I guess they weren’t kidding… Cuz goddamn its pouring (metaphorically of course)…

 Actually it was pouring on Tuesday. And I went for a walk in the rain, which I am now regretting. I think I may be getting a cold or something. And I’ll bet it was because of that… Which is awesome, just awesome… If I could take back one thing this past week it woudl be that walk in the park, oh and maybe quitting the history debating team… not because I want to be on the history debating team, but because I wanted to make trouble for one of it’s member who is pissing me off at the moment.

 She’s like one of maybe ten people who I want to punch right now… Oh yes, I do have a bad temper… thanks for noticing *airkiss* My gosh, I’m a psycho! Yay! All that pent-up anger should really come in handy one day! I can’t imagine under what circumstance, but hey, if I get attacked in the street I should be able to land a pretty hard blow on whoever is enough of an idiot to try…  Oooh yay! Proud of me? I know I am. Not everyone can honestly say that they are totally retarded and want to punch people. My reasons for wanting to punch people are really stupid too.

 They’re just the kind of reasons you’d expect from a blonde teenager who thinks too much. Good thing I have a blog now… I can think out loud. Although really the thing that’s taking up most of my “brain space” right now is pretty simple. There it is again.. ONE BLACK GLOVE.